You Still Suck, Boston

So, the Patriots defeated the Colts, 24-20, in Sunday's ridiculously overhyped regular season game. Well, you know, CBS needs some ratings to make up for actually airing a show as fucking stupid as The Big Bang Theory. Regardless, Boston sports fans are walking around like they shit rainbows, and since I really don't have any sports related arguments to make (although I would like to point out that the Pats are cheaters, BC lost and the Bruins suck), I've decided to make the following point: Almost everything that has come out of Massachusetts since, oh, the Boston Tea Party, has sucked.

• John F. Kennedy was soft and let a bullet or two take his ass out.
• Bobby Kennedy was soft and let a bullet or two take his ass out.
• Ted Kennedy was drunk and took out a perfectly good car (and, incidentally, a girl).
• Dane Cook sucks.
• Aerosmith doesn't even write their own songs.
• The band Boston made music so bad their own lead singer offed himself. Dude killed himself with charcoal. What a pussy way to go.
• Your fair state produced Michael Dukakis. You also produced John Kerry, a man so incompetent he couldn't beat George W. Bush in an election.

There are many other instances of Massachusettsians sucking, but this is a blog, not a motherfucking encyclopedia.